COVID, Clutter, and One Very Happy Surprise

We came home from Los Angeles on Tuesday.

Thursday morning, I felt crappy. But hey, it’s September in New York. My allergies always act up in September, so I went about my day drinking lots of water and tea and sucking on cough drops.

By Friday, I knew this wasn’t allergies. And I was fairly confident it wasn’t your run-of-the-mill cold. So I took a COVID test. Positive.

The line started showing up LONG before the 15-minute timer went off.

I tried to work, but an hour or two in, my body essentially said, “What are you even trying to do right now?”

High fever. Sore throat. Congestion. Body aches everywhere. My left ear still hasn’t popped.

The weekend was spent binge-watching TV, napping, and eating soup.

I also had to miss both Rosh Hashanah dinners. Not exactly a fun way to start the new year.

AND THEN…

Saturday afternoon, when I was equal parts loopy and depressed, my phone and my husband’s phone both rang with a Facebook video call.

I answered, and there was Jolee in one box and Shayna and Emily in the other.

Emily was holding up her left hand with an engagement ring on her finger!

Shayna had popped the question on Deno’s Wonder Wheel, the famous Ferris wheel at Coney Island.

I was so happy I could cry.

And then I had to celebrate with more tea, soup, and binge-watching TV. No beer and cake for me.

Sunday afternoon, my fever broke. I read half a book and thought, “I’m rocking and rolling!” And then my energy started dwindling again.

In a different world, I’d email my boss and say, “I need another day or two off.”

BUT…I’m my boss.

I don’t have sick time. I don’t get sick pay. And if I don’t do the work, then who will?

Working for myself is amazing 90% of the time. I LOVE helping women. I love interviewing fascinating women for my podcast. I love educating people about all the different forms of clutter.

You know…like the mental and emotional clutter I’m experiencing right now.

The guilt about resting.

The list of things that aren’t getting done.

The fear that if I step away for a few days, everything will fall apart.

The voice telling me I “should” be doing more because I’m starting to feel a little better.

But my body is also communicating very clearly: You are still sick. Sit your ass down.

So today, I’m trying to give myself the same compassion I give the women I coach.

The work will still be there.

Rest is not laziness.

Recovery is productive.

And sometimes letting go means letting go of the belief that everything depends on you doing everything right now.

I’ll spare you a picture of me because, trust me, it ain’t pretty. Instead, here’s Sally providing the finest feline medical care around.